By Jennifer J. Schwirzer
When my dad was a young man, he believed in something that most of his friends laughed at; chastity. He decided to save himself for his wife. Even though influential people in dad's life told him to enjoy sexual "experimentation," he waited until marriage. His motive? Happiness. He knew that most moral people were happy people.
There are many good reasons for chastity and its bedfellow, (no pun intended) monogamy. Sexual purity enhances life on many levels, and impurity can literally ruin it. Many pay a lifelong price for the passion of a moment. In order that we may "count the cost" as Jesus advised, let's look at the benefits of monogamy.
1. Monogamous people have the best sex life. Research indicates that married couples have the most satisfying intimate life, and if sexual involvement is limited to one partner in a lifetime, pleasure is at it's highest.1 On the negative side, one study of 100,000 women linked early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriage's level of intimacy. 2
2. Monogamous people are physically healthier. 75-85% of HIV positive adults are infected through unprotected sex, with about 8,500 new HIV infections a day. 3 Aids is the obvious health factor, but there are others, such as other STDs, of which there are three million reported cases among teens a year. 4
3. Monogamous people are mentally healthier. Research indicates that sexually active teens are more prone to drug and alcohol abuse, and more likely to have trouble in school. Sexually active teenage girls are more likely to be depressed, have low self esteem, feel lonely, and even more likely to attempt suicide. 5
4. Monogamy contributes to the health of society. One study reports "an unvarying correlation between the degree of sexual restraints and the rate of social progress. Cultures that were more sexually permissive displayed less cultural energy, creativity, intellectual development and individualism, and a slower general cultural ascent." 6
5. Monogamy saves money. More than 80 percent of pregnant girls under age 17 who give birth and keep their babies end up on welfare, costing society a staggering $21 billion a year.7
Based on these facts, you will be more sexually fulfilled, physically and mentally healthier, more culturally advanced and richer if you choose monogamy. These are all good reasons to determine, right now within the sanctum of your own will, to follow God's plan for your sex life.
But you can't stop there, and I will tell you why.
We were created in God's image, which means that we were made to be like Him in character. Character is not the outside of a person, but the inside, reaching to the depths of our motivational center. If we are to come into conformity to the image of God, we will have an inner life like the inner life of God. This means that we will be motivated by the same principles He is motivated by.
That's pretty weighty, isn't it? That means that when we make smart choices for selfish reasons, we are utterly failing to reflect God's image as we have been called to do.
True morality is a principle that taps into a deeper motivation than mere self-preservation. Morality asks not primarily, "What will benefit me?" but, "What will benefit everyone I impact?" My own gain and well-being will be considered within the context of what is best for all concerned, including God Himself. Ultimately, the life quest of a moral person is to glorify God.
Some , like my dad, are blessed with sufficient will power to commit to moral behavior for their entire lives. Others bend like a noodle in the wind when temptation comes. Thank God, He says that "the race is not to the swift, and the battle is not to the warriors" Eccles. 9:11. When God plants His Spirit inside the heart, the fruit is seen in a life of purity springing from a desire to honor Him.
1. The Social Organization of Sexuality:
Sexual Practices in the United States U. of Chicago Press, 1994, table 10.5 p. 364.
2. Donald Joy, Christianity Today, Oct. 3, 1986.
3. "Why We Should Care" The 1997 World Aids Day Resource Booklet, pp 6
4. Division of STD Prevention, The Challenge of STD Prevention in the United States.
5. Pediatrics, Feb. 19, 1982.
6. Reo Christianson, Christianity Today, Feb. 19, 1982.
7. "Kids Having Kids,"a Robin Hood Foundation Special Report on the Costs of
Adolescent Childbearing, June 1996.
Also by Jennifer
Akiela the dog
loved to chase cars. When I would come down the stairs in the morning in my jogging shoes,
he would dance around and say (in dog of course), "Oh, can I come? I love going car
chasing! Please, please, please let me come car chasing!"
I would say, "Now, Akiela, you may come if you promise not to chase
cars!"
And then he would say, "Oh, goody, goody, goody, I love car
chasing!"
Obviously, Akiela and I were speaking different languages. So, he would come
with me, and every time a car went by, he would chase it! Of course, he would get a
terrible spanking from me, but it would not keep him from chasing the very next car that
came by. Finally, I had to take him on a leash.
But one evening when the family piled into the van to go to a meeting, Akiela
decided to chase the van down the road as we pulled away. "Bark! Bark, bark, bark
bark!" he said as he ran, "I want to come too!"
Suddenly, another big van came down the narrow road toward us. Mike had to
veer the car to get out of the way, and when he did, we heard a big "BANG!"
followed by, "Yelp, yelp, yelp!" We had hit our own dog.
He was covered with blood and in pain. We took him home, bandaged his wounds,
and covered him up, praying that he would be O.K.
The next day, he stayed on his little bed. After a few days, he walked
around. After a week, he was back to his old self. We were so happy!
When I came downstairs the next morning to go on my run, Akiela wanted to
come with me. I thought he had learned not to chase cars, but the very first car that came
by, you can guess what he did. He chased it.
Like Akiela, we may be hurt again and again by something, and keep right on
doing it. When will we learn? When we look at Jesus and see what our sins to to Him. That
is what finally changed Peter, and that is what will finally change us!
This page was last updated on 25 Feb 1999.
Comments or Suggestions: Email us at: jennifer@jenniferjill.org
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